At one moment in our life we feel absolutely loved by
God.
Loved and I love Him. (express it
with feelings)
And then suddenly, you begin to question, demand, feel anguish,
frustrated!
And at another instant,
praise Him! Adore! Contemplate His glory!
After which silence followed, as if
God is unreachable. Silence that shatters your being. That feeling of being abandoned by Him. Reaching to the point of saying,
‘ My God,
where are you? Do you even exist?’
Yet, the answer remain silent.
Who can escape any of these? Not even holy people, or
saints. How much more you and me, don’t
you agree?
But looking at the cross, like Jesus who shouted feeling in
despair,
‘My God, my God! Why have you forsaken me?’
He feel silent before God. And realized the truth about the
Father.
‘The Father loved me. I am His beloved child. I am loved.’
And that
brought him peace. He conquered the suffering on the thought of DEATH.
Because LOVE IS BEYOND FEELING...
FAITH IS NOT A FEELING. IT IS KNOWING.
Knowing what?
Knowing that no matter what I have done, what I will do.
I AM GOD'S BELOVED CHILD.
He loves me for
no reason. And God doesn’t care whether I return that love or not.
I will continue to love God imperfectly. That will be enough
– for now J
<excerpts from 2014 notes>
