Silent Battle and Miracles
March 1, 2015
Holy Spirit School, QC
I slept and had a strange dream..I was in this place out here, as I struggle to contemplate. I slept and in my dream... I struggle too and slept.
I was with the devil and Jesus. We walked through life and he asked me, "Do you really believe that He loves you?" And Jesus was just silent. He showed me the world - disasters, my favorite friend got sick and we came to a house in a snow. "Do you know that in that house, someone died single? Do you still believe that He loves you?" And then he laughed.
And so we came to this very spot where I am sitting right now as I write. They are two big man. (I'm in their middle). "How can you say that He loves you?" I looked at the devil blankly. I took the hands of Jesus. He laughed and they both laughed. Jesus said, " Oh that again. the nails!" And they laughed.
I feel... that even me, I am not fully convinced with that answer of mine. DO I REALLY BELIEVE THAT IS HOW MUCH HE LOVES? Or was it just an idea because eversince I was young, that is what is taught in the church, in schools, in songs, in tv, in Superbook, by the preaching, in books. I just don't know what to answer or how to answer. I just hugged Jesus.
The devil traced my feet on the ground (my little feet) and the feet of Jesus. (see below... please do imagine a better image)
We all looked at the feet drawing, sabi ko lang... "It's funny." And he laughed. I awoke in that dream, and my present dream.
I woke up and started to cry. I hugged my Bible and really feel that I was here (now). Alive!
I shared my dream with my PLW family during our community meditation, no matter how irrelevant for others it may seem. I asked them, why did the devil laughed? They all laughed as well and jokingly said. Because your feet was little compared to Jesus. You were a "Woman of little feet" or was it "Woman of little faith" as feet - faith mispelled.
Still, the question of that devil lingered...
"DO YOU LOVE HIM? DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT HE LOVES YOU?"
"Thank You my God, because it was all a nightmare. The bad dream of a night that now belongs to the past. Meanwhile, give me patience and hope Your will be done. Amen"
(Excerpt from Encounter Book Prayer - Times of Depression)
